Jose's Writing Analysis -Kristen Scott

               

Jose’s Writing Analysis

                I asked Jose to write a short essay about immigrating to the United States in both languages.   He wrote the Spanish essay first and then asked me if he could use it to write the English essay.  I politely declined, explaining that I preferred that he think in English rather than use his Spanish essay to “translate”.   I was not surprised to see that his essay focused heavily on soccer, which is his great passion in life.  Both essays were clear and comprehensible.  It is clear that Jose understands that the purpose of writing is to convey meaning. 

                Rubin and Carlan /Vocabulary/Sentence Structure/Grammar/Spelling:  The transitional stage, as defined by Rubin and Carlan, is characterized by knowledge of common spelling patterns as well as sounds they hear in words (Gentry, 1982,2000)  One example of demonstrating knowledge of spelling patterns would be adding silent e at the end of words.   This is where Jose’s written English falls (the transitional stage), as is evidenced by only two errors in his one-page writing sample (“Inglesh” and “United State”).  His spelling accuracy was nearly the same in both languages, and his use of vocabulary was slightly more developed in Spanish than in English (“llegamos” as opposed to “came”)(“empece a jugar “ as opposed to “I played with another team”.) 

                The transitional stage, which  has no equivalent in Ferreiro and Teberosky’s scheme (probably because most Spanish words are spelled phonetically, and students thus move directly to the conventional stage), also features more complex sentence structure and syntax as compared to the phonetic stage.  In the English sample, Jose’s placement of adjectives was correct, but he omitted the article “the” in one instance “came from Mexico to United State”.  Apart from that one instance, the two samples were not very far apart.  Jose’s written Spanish is definitely at the conventional (Level 5) stage of development.  In terms of grammar, Jose uses four grammatical tenses in his Spanish sample, (“me sentí, “estaban en Mexico”, “quisieron que yo jugara con ellos” y “he aprendido”, while in his English sample, he used only the present tense and the past simple tenses.  He definitely shows greater language control in Spanish, which is why I place him in the conventional L5 stage.  He did, however, omit most of the accents in his writing, a fact which will inform my instruction.

Writing Miscue Analysis

                Jose, surprisingly, showed no evidence of spelling approximations or code switching.  He is able to form fairly complex sentences in English without borrowing vocabulary and without blending.  There is one notable exception that I believe qualifies as copying as it applies to punctuation.

                 It seems that Jose is confused about the placement of periods, and I am theorizing that, as a Mexican who is used to writing long sentences with dependent clauses and additive relationships, he has been corrected and asked to shorten his sentences by inserting periods (in his English writing.)  His English essay consists of three very long sentences (the last consisting of 43 words), while his Spanish essay consists of six sentences (the longest of which was 89 words).

                His placement of periods indicates confusion in both languages.   (“Cuando me mude de Mexico a Estados Unidos me senti triste. Porque mis amigos estaban en Mexico.” “..cuando llegamos a los Estados Unidos.Entre en un equipo de mexicanos…” When I came from Mexico to United State.I was sad because my friends are in Mexico.”  I am theorizing that his teachers’ entreaties to write simpler, shorter sentences have resulted in confusion with regard to punctuation in both languages.

                Smith/Discourse pattern: He also seems to have transferred his Spanish discourse style, characterized by long, run-on sentences characterized by additive, explicative and causal relationships, according to Smith) to English.  (“Mi mejor amigo se llama Elviz y el me regalo un balon de futbol que tanto queria y cuando llegamos a los Estados Unidos….”  “And I was happy and when we came to United State I played with a mexican team and then I played for another team the problem is when…”).

                Overall, I find it impressive that Jose’s English writing is at the transitional stage, given that he is clearly a Spanish-dominant, sequential language learner who arrived in the US from Mexico only last year.  When he arrived in my Newcomers Class in September, he could not form a complete sentence in English; he instead whispered single words and short phrases.  I am thrilled to see his strong spelling, grammar and vocabulary.  I worked very hard with him, and I would love to take credit, however, I must admit that Jose is a very intelligent boy with a strong aptitude for languages! 

                His English and Spanish writing are both steadily progressing given that he had step-by-step instruction in Newcomers (phonics and sight words, which then gave way to reading 400 lexile books and writing essays).  He is progressing simultaneously in Spanish through DBE-Spanish Language Arts, where we focus heavily on reading, research and writing.

                Jose’s confusion with regard to the placement of periods in both languages and the related issue of discourse patterns in the respective languages will definitely inform my instruction.  I will also address Spanish accents in an upcoming mini-lesson.

                This was in incredibly accurate and useful method for analyzing writing.  I wish I had the time to be this thorough with all of my students.  Perhaps with practice and experience, I will be able to do it more quickly and efficiently.  I also found Rubin’s  and Carlan’s recommendations on p. 738 very useful, and I will implement them in my classroom. (Pls. see samples attached.)